missing.

My brother had a friend growing up, who basically became like another brother to me.
I have always thought of him as a brother that I just don't see as often as my real family and he always thought of me as a little sister.
When I first moved back to Spokane 3 years ago, I had no friends and was so sad, so he took me out and we had SO much fun! I will never forget how nice he was for doing that. Or how nice he was for letting me tag along with him and my brother when I was in junior high/high school.
Well, a few months ago he tried to commit suicide (by stabbing himself in the neck! So awful) it was devastating to hear, but he recovered (physically) and last I heard he was doing ok.
Well how I wake up to find out he has been missing for a week and that an official missing persons report has been filed by his father.

I have so many mixed emotions about it all.
First of all, this is the type of guy who you would NEVER expect to attempt suicide. He was so lively and SO hilarious....he was also SOOOOO smart! And if I remember correctly, was pretty successful.
I know you never really expect anyone to attempt suicide, but when I found out about him trying to...it was a HUGE shock.
Just like is was for everyone else, I am sure.
I remember my brother was on the phone with him during our gender reveal party for Gianna and I was begging him to come to the party.
(This was AFTER his attempt)
I hadn't seen him in SO long (since he took me out when I moved to Spokane) but he wouldn't come, for whatever reason. I was pretty sad about it but planned on visiting him with my brother sometime.
Well, I was just informed that he has been missing for a week, and an official missing persons report has been filed in Spokane by his father.
I am just sick to my stomach.
I feel so sad for him, but it also makes me SO angry!
Why would he do this to his family?

Suicide is such a terrible thing, for obvious reasons...but the thing that makes it most terrible, in my opinion, is that you might put yourself out of your "misery" but you put your family, all your friends and loved ones in more misery than you probably were ever in yourself. It is just THE most selfish act.

And now he is MISSING?!
This makes me worry even more but it also makes me even more angry!
How could he leave his family and friends in fear like this, wondering what has happened.
Has he run away?
Has he killed himself?
Did he get into an accident somewhere?
Has he been murdered?!
WHERE IS HE?!

You just dont know.
It's an awful feeling.


Please keep him in your prayers.