Weird morning

So this morning John and I wake up to a HORRIBLE stench.

What is this stench, you ask?

POOP!

Zulu had clearly pooped somewhere! The little brat!

(Just for the record, she has been doing REALLY good at not pooping or peeing in the house. I think she is FIIIIINALLY learning. It only happens occasionally now...YAY!!!)

Anyways, here is where it gets weird...

John looked and looked for the poop and it was nowhere to be found.

He really needed to get ready so he kept saying "I don't see it!" as if to say he was giving up...but I complained and complained that I couldn't go back to sleep with that smell in the room!

So he followed it's stench...EWWWWW

Thank God for husbands!!!

It was obviously under the bed but he just couldn't see it.

Well, turns out...

...so you know how box springs have that papery-fabric stapled to the bottom? Well, when Zulu was a puppy we noticed she had been chewing and ripping that black (ours was black) paper off of the bottom of the box spring. We kept meaning to fix it but just never got around to it, and how often do you think about that sort of thing, really?

Well, Let me tell you, You DON'T think about it until a dog crawls up in there and POOPS IN IT!!

Yes, that is right folks. Zulu pooped under the bed, but when I say under, I also mean IN.

She had ripped all that paper off of the sides of the box springs to form a little hammock, if you will, and had gone inside and pooped!

Strategically, of course, she pooped just far enough in so that John couldn't get in and reach it.

So at 6:30 this morning, after I had complained and complained about not being able to go back to sleep with the horrible smell, John and I were moving mattresses and box springs and cleaning poop.

John had to get ready for work so after he got the poop out of the INSIDE of our box spring (seriously....GROSS!) I went out and got some duct tape! I taped all the sides of that fabric back down, and then nailed it in a few places as well.

Well ladies and gentleman....I think 6:30 is too early for a pregnant lady who didn't sleep much to be using a hammer and nails because I hit my thumb...and HARD!!!!!!

I kept pounding on this dang nail and it wouldn't go in so I pounded harder and harder *insert swollen thumb here)....

Turns out, both sides were blunt...it was a dud nail. Uhg, I should sue the nail people.

Anyways, this took me an HOUR. An hour of moving our 6,000 pound-dead weight mattress around...picking up the box springs (there's two separate ones on our bed) then taping and nailing down the fabric just to have to move it all back.

While moving the box springs around I had noticed what sounded like wood, moving around in the box spring. I thought to myself, "Oh no, it's broken on the inside!" So I peeked in to check things out....

...No worries, no broken box spring, just DRIED POOP clunking around!!!!!

OOOOOOH MYYYYY GOSHHHH!!!!

How we did not notice the smell of poop drying under our bed, I do not know....

*siiigh*

I swear we don't live in filth!

Anywho, so next I had to go grab the vacuum (I was not reaching in there and pulling it out myself!) and sucked up all the little poop rocks with the vacuum hose...sick...

Finally, after a serious struggle with trying to put the mattress and box springs back together, John came in and put them all together for me. Phew. I was beat...

I thought about taking pictures of this lovely event, just for you! But decided against it because I wasn't positive where my camera was, and it was too early to search for it...

Next task of the day....cleaning out the vacuum....Joy!

Hope everyone woke up to a much more relaxing morning then I did!!