I wont give up

(I hate posting blogs like this...I like to keep the not-so-good/funny/entertaining parts of my life personal...but this blog was for journaling purposes for myself and for my children so, I try to ignore the fact that lots of my family/friends read this blog....So...ill keep ignoring it tonight)

I've had a pretty emotional and rough night.

It was nothing too serious but I just felt beaten down a bit

It's this STUPID issue that seems to keep coming up the last year or so and I  am soooo over it! 

So tonight I vowed to get rid of any and all pieces of said "issue" and start over!

I won't go into details but before I get pelted with questions...I AM FINE!

it's really NO BIGGIE!

It was just silly because I just couldn't seem to get my emotions in check 

so I decided to cry it out in the shower with the radio on, really loudly.

hahaha

I got into the shower

turned on the radio

and this song I have never heard immediately came on

....oh

....my

....goodness.

First let me just say that music has ALWAYS been my outlet and an amazing way to get all my feelings and emotions out of my brain when my emotions seem to just be a giant snowball rolling down a hill getting tangled in the trees and exploding!

It organizes them and lets me think through them, calmly and rationally. 

I seem to "relate" to songs better than anything, and they always put my thoughts into really beautiful words that I just can't manage to do myself.

Well, like I was saying, this song came on

and for those of you who might not know it..I will add the video and lyrics below.

It's called "I wont give up"

by Jason Mraz.

I believe it is a love song, but it was like my Heavenly Father was sending me such a clear and obvious message through this song.

It had so many point-of-view options...which is my favorite type of song!

I love when it can be able a mother talking to a daughter

or a husband to wife

or a friend to another friend

or a sister to a sister...

etc....

I felt as though it could be coming from myself...telling myself things to remember and not forget and how to forgive people easier

or that it could be coming from my wonderful husband

but when I first listened to it from the prospective of my Heavenly Father, everything just seemed to make sense.

It didn't directly address any specific issue that I have had tonight but somehow through its sweeping words, it did.

I felt justified in my feelings but more importantly, so comforted and understood. 

needless to say....

I balled!!

hahaha!

I have no listened to it like 87 times in a row (does anyone else do that?!)

This line,

"And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are"


ah...It made me feel SO much better.

Anyways...I thought I would add it to my blog for anyone else that might need it tonight.

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?


I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up


And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find


'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up


I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am


I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.


I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)


I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up